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12.03.2009 - Viceregent decree marks setback for Tolkienoids

Citing scripture's command to "speak plainer," the viceregent has imposed a strict ban on mumbling. "It also makes it hard to tell whether they are heretics plotting the destruction of all that is holy," he added.

However, he has also forbidden other students to laugh at the Tolkienoids, because, as MORAMBAR says: "No one laughs at Tolkien!"

Smoking is already encouraged, so there is no change there. The viceregent reiterated that, while pipe-smoking is cool, it is not the only smoking in which tolkien engaged or which FATS encourages. "MORAMBAR made it very clear that olifant cigars are the preferred smoking apparatus," he observed.

Tolkienoids are also being required to renew their loyalty oaths to MORAMBAR and to the aministration.

Hell: 28.09.2008 - Hell's first mobile computer to hit the market

Hell City (orcinf) -- The staff of Commiecom's laboratories leaked the first pictures of their newest technological achievement today, a mobile computer that is destined to make a big impact on Fredonia's market. According to Dr. C. Anderpantz, the chief developer, Hell's first sub-notebook or 'netbook' is a true inter-universal cooperation. "We worked closely with our friends and comrades at Let A Thousand Dear Leaders Bloom Microtechnology, Pyongyang", Anderpantz said. "They really helped us to transcend the limits of today's technology."


Click image to enlarge

Anderpantz admitted, though, that the new product was not perfect yet. "The screen is a bit small", he said. "But that was the only way to stay under the 20 kg limit, to make the notebook portable for any orc with normal physical strength." He promised, though, that this problem would be addressed in future models.

Rogsylvania: 11.07.2008 - Rogsylvanian legislator suggests abolishing slavery

BRUNNÈME (confl) -- Controversial, or perhaps simply eccentric Rogsylvanian noblerog Margrave Massacre has outdone himself, again.

Apparently his last suggestion, that humans should be knocked unconscious before being slaughtered, wasn't enough for the notorious liberal. He now proposes that the term "slave" should be gotten rid of.

"It's a highly unaesthetic word," he explained during a polo match that he insisted on playing with dead humans only. "It's rude calling Orcs slaves! 'Volunteers' sounds so much nicer, don't you think?"

The Diet laughed uproariously at the honorable member's comments.

Tiundaland: 20.08.2008 - Populist Blatherwycke stirs unrest

The wilderness to the north (Capital News) -- A new political actor has appeared on the Fredonian scene: the populist Osbert Blatherwycke, who tries to establish a following in Fredonia on a three-point programme: 1. A total stop on immigration. 2. Tax cuts and 3. A policeman under (or, depending on preferences, in) every citizen's bed. However, so far Blatherwycke has not been very successful. Not even the orcs seem to like him.

"We are trying to find a way to expel Blatherwycke", says Superintendent Horatio Catchem of the Fredonian Police Department. "There are sincere doubts as to how a person with his opinions could be a true native of Fredonia."

Other regions: 12.03.2009 - Viceregent decree marks setback for Tolkienoids

Citing scripture's command to "speak plainer," the viceregent has imposed a strict ban on mumbling. "It also makes it hard to tell whether they are heretics plotting the destruction of all that is holy," he added.

However, he has also forbidden other students to laugh at the Tolkienoids, because, as MORAMBAR says: "No one laughs at Tolkien!"

Smoking is already encouraged, so there is no change there. The viceregent reiterated that, while pipe-smoking is cool, it is not the only smoking in which tolkien engaged or which FATS encourages. "MORAMBAR made it very clear that olifant cigars are the preferred smoking apparatus," he observed.

Tolkienoids are also being required to renew their loyalty oaths to MORAMBAR and to the aministration.