• Quick and friendly service! Nothing of the "assembly line" service you experienced from bigger companies. Due to Hell's policy of prescribed full employment, there are at any time dozens of bored, unnecessary employees who desire nothing more than to serve you, just to bring some change into their dull existence.



• Easy booking process! In fact, no booking is necessary at all - due to Hell's effective secret services, we already know where you want to go!



• No security torture! Ever tried to bring liquids onto a WTF plane? On a TRANSPORC plane, it is no problem! Everyone does - right up to the pilot. If you ask nicely, he'll even let you take a sip from his vodka bottle.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: Because Hell is a communist county, right wings are outlawed. To compensate that, all our planes have two left wings. This can occasionally lead to bumpy flights. However, it also substantially reduces the danger of mid-air splits.